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Based on the Scripture readings: |
2005 April 24 |
Neighbor TalkBeing the newcomer can be very awkward. My family and I recently moved to a brand new neighborhood where we don't know a soul. The whole month of March unfurled, and I was secretly hoping for that fresh loaf of bread or the home baked apple pie to arrive at our doorstep with a kind welcoming note attached. Didn't come. I was waiting for the neighbor to yell across the street, "Hey, welcome to town. Come on over for a cup of coffee." Didn't happen. A few weeks ago, finally, I saw a neighbor walking down our side of the street with her little boy. I flagged her! "Hi, we're new to your neighborhood," I said. "How old's your little boy. He's welcome to come play in our backyard with my child. Please stop by anytime. Be great to have tea…" The neighbor was very nice but noncommittal. "Sure, yeah, that would be great," she replied. I've noticed since that encounter that I haven't seen her walk near my side of the street. Did I say something wrong, I wonder, or come on too strong? Maybe I seem too desperate to have a neighbor. Maybe I'm not her type. It's a little awkward being new. As this Sunday is one in recognition of being Open and Affirming, I got to thinking. How can my little feelings of awkwardness I'm experiencing in my new neighborhood because I haven't been included or reached out to even compare to the feelings someone might have who wants desperately to come to church, but, because of her sexual orientation, or maybe her race, or her economic background, or perhaps because of her disabilities, she worries about whether or not she will fit in and be accepted. Maybe you could take my feelings of awkwardness and multiply those feelings times 100 or 200, or maybe the feelings of awkwardness are even off the scale for someone who feels unwelcome by the church because of precisely who she or he is. A fellow pastor, Greg Morisse, who is also a gay man, puts it this way.
In this day and age, praise God that we are celebrating 10 years of
being an open and affirming church. What drew
me to our church initially, and perhaps this has been the case for some
of you too, was the inclusive, welcoming message of our website. The
opening text on our homepage states: "What if they built a church
with love for God and our neighbors and a sense of Christian
responsibility- for fairness, justice, openness, and the inclusion of
all God's children? If we build such a church with God's guidance, we
believe you will come." If you scroll down further on the web
page,
This is not minor stuff. Our Open and Affirming stance is of major importance in our world, particularly now I would say. This week, as the excitement grew and the world watched for the white smoke signals ushering in a new pope, I couldn't help but wonder, how will this passage of time be for people who have traditionally been outcast by the church? Will gays and lesbians feel any more comfortable with the election of the new Pope for instance? John Thomas, the United Church of Christ general minister and president, said days before the new Pope's election:
It is clear to me that one of our greatest strengths as a church is that we are welcoming and hospitable. A couple of weeks ago, I went to another UCC church in my new neighborhood to check it out and even though I was there at this church function for close to 45 minutes, I left not knowing anyone's name. No one gave me any information about the church. No one welcomed me. I wasn't asked how I came to find out about this church nor even invited to come back. My preliminary experience as a stranger at that UCC church was in stark contrast to what I see happening here at our church. There are many welcoming souls in this place. But there is always more welcoming work to be done. A few weeks ago,
the youth invited us in a wonderful way to imagine what God looks like.
In the kids drawings,
which are now displayed by the entryway, one of the kids drew a picture
of Jesus and wrote, "I think God looks like Jesus." I'd love
to know, if any of you were asked to conjure up a primary image of
Jesus, what would it be. For one little three year old boy, the primary
image he has of Jesus right now is of Jesus walking on water, because
he thinks that is pretty cool, as cool as what any rescue hero could
do.
And a real close up image of Jesus for me that resonates is, not so much the image of Jesus lying on a cross, but an image of Jesus very much alive with arms reaching out. I imagine Jesus with extended arms, open hands, inviting, welcoming, as if embracing the room, reaching out to you, reaching out to me, reaching out to those who have been kept at bay, saying "Come, come to Me. Let us no longer be strangers. You belong in the center of things." A remarkable aspect of our faith is the way we can embody Christ. As we pray, and as we call out to Jesus and bring Jesus further and further into our hearts, I imagine a kind of reflex developing. As Jesus enters our hearts, our arms then open up like Jesus', our arms reach out more and more, so that we welcome, we embrace, as Jesus does. Kosuke Koyama, a religious scholar from Union Theological Seminary writes that the "Heartbeat of Christianity" is about being a good neighbor. In the common definition, neighbor is the person who lives close by. However, Koyama writes, "In the Bible, neighbor refers more generally to people who are not members of one's family or one's neighborhood. "Hence," he writes, "the Great Commandment - You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Lev. 19:18) - contains the expanding and deepening vision of an even greater commandment - "You shall love the alien, [or the stranger,] as yourself." I like the way Koyama sums it up, "Neighbor-talk or (neighborology) is the heartbeat of Christ-talk (Christology.)"1 One of the most popular New Testament stories is that of the Good
Samaritan. When Jesus told people to love your neighbor, a lawyer asked
him to clarify -- "Just who is my neighbor?" as if he was
looking for a legal definition. And Jesus, with all his humor and
cleverness at hand, turns the lawyer's question on its head with a
parable. You know how the story goes. We learn that a man is lying
injured on the side of the road to Jericho, having been robbed and left
half dead. A priest passes by and later a Levite, both ignoring the
injured man. It wasn't until a Samaritan arrived that the man was taken
care of. The Samaritan, himself a foreigner and an outcast, had mercy
and compassion upon the stranger. With this parable, by the time Jesus
is done with the lawyer's question, the question has morphed from
"Who is my neighbor" to "Who is being a neighbor?"
Jesus than says, "Go and do likewise." Deitrich Bonhoeffer
writes in his book, The Cost of Discipleship, "Who is my
neighbor?" the answer is:
Karl Barth writes: "Human being is being with other humans. Apart from this relationship we become inhuman. We are human by being together, by seeing, hearing, speaking with, and standing by, one another as men (and women.)" How do we stand by one another in the church? How do we go about being good neighbors? We're off to a good start, but there's more waiting for us, there's more neighbor-talk, Christ-talk to be had. Simone Weil, in the book Waiting for God, writes: "The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him, 'What are you going through?'" "What are you going through?" might be a good starting point for many teens today. The organization, Religious Tolerance.org, makes the case that a major "sin of the Christian church in North America is its contribution to the high suicide rate among lesbian and gay youth."2 The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimated that "as many as 30% of completed youth suicides each year" occur by gays and lesbians. How might we be a good neighbor to a gay or lesbian or bisexual youth in our communities? How can we help build up their self-esteem and lobby to protect them from those who would deflate it? How can we be good neighbors to those who have been made to feel
invisible in the church? I recall a very kind woman I met while I was a
chaplain at Mass General. She was suffering from depression and had
been suicidal. She was a woman of deep faith, yet she felt exiled from
the church. She had been at a UCC church where she felt distanced from
because of her struggles with depression. More than one person very
wrongly told her that if she had a stronger faith she would not be
suicidal. Her mental illness had been sorely misunderstood and poorly
judged. How could we be the kind of neighbors Jesus wants us to be in a
situation like this? Can we imagine being there for this woman, could
we drive her to church if there were times when she was trapped in
isolation, could we be the kind of neighbors
Or could we imagine ourselves being a good neighbor in this church to someone like Chris. Chris is a wonderful man who has developmental disabilities. The church had become a scary place for him, though, because there were things that happened in the church that he just didn't understand. One day, I asked Chris why he had left the church. He said, "Last time [I was at church] Dad passed away, about '95. I went to church. It was the scariest one. Last time I went to church was a scary thing, day for me." Why it was so scary, I asked. "Scared the heck out of me," he said. "Saw that casket coming up on the altar. Scared the heck out of me. My hands started shaking. I didn't expect that." And that's the last time you went to church, I asked. "Yeah, that's the last time I went to church." How can those of us who are temporarily-abled imagine ourselves reaching out in this church to someone like Chris? If we noticed that Chris had not been to church for awhile, can we imagine giving him a call, asking him how he's been, saying we miss you, come back? Can we imagine taking extra time to sit with him and explain things going on in the church and in Christian education in ways he could understand? Could we affirm Chris for the perspective he brings to church? Mahatma Gandhi writes: "I am part and parcel of the whole, and I cannot find God apart from the rest of humanity." The author of the first epistle of John writes:
The good news is we can be of healing influence to one another when we are open, when we affirm, when we draw others in. The good news is, as we bring Jesus into our hearts, our arms will open wider and wider still. What's fortunate for us is when we love others -- the neighbor, the stranger -- God lives in us, God thrives in us, and God's love is perfected in us in more and more beautiful ways. So on this special anniversary day, go forth from this church, embodying Christ, being the arms and hands of Jesus, reaching, embracing with daring and compassion, being a good neighbor. God will live in you and bring you abundant blessing. Amen. 1"Neighbor: The Heartbeat of Christ-talk" by Kosuke Koyama, The Living Pulpit, vol. 11 no.3 2 See www.religioustolerance.org/hom_suic.htm Copyright © 200 5 Gretchen L. Elmendorf. Used by permission.http://www.nhcc.net/sermons/Sermon20050424.htm |
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